Madeline Krajewski

This week consisted of a flurry of excitement, anxiety, and overwhelm. I hadn’t heard of steganography prior to now, and the assignment excites me. I adore cryptography and had never considered image-related cryptography as a subset. I want to realize my project to its fullest extent yet feel unprepared and a little behind my peers. Through conversation, I realized everyone feels the same way: others are on top of things, while they are not. It turns out this anxiety permeates the Capstone students, and I’ve realized a few things:

1. Nobody knows what they’re doing
2. The previous Capstone students likely felt the same way
3. ‘Fake it until you make it’ works
4. This semester will be full of chaos and confusion
5. Organization will be crucial to my success

This mixed bag of lessons brings relief and anxiety in turn. On the one hand, seniors before me survived Capstone and created incredible projects. On the other, I’m not so sure that leaving me to my own devices is exactly advisable. I overcomplicate things for myself frequently, and I worry I will do the same repeatedly over the course of the semester.

Despite this, I adore my project. It feels full of potential, and I want to make the best version of it I possibly can. This is the sort of project I love doing in my free time, and to receive this project relieved a great deal of anxiety I had over break. Intrinsic motivation strengthens resolve and discipline, whereas extrinsic motivation usually stems from fear of repercussions. I worried I might receive a project I hated, which would make the semester incredibly tough.

I feel as though a current pulls at my feet, urging me forward into the tide. Will I sink or swim? I suppose I won’t know until the end of the semester. The best thing I can do right now is focus on individual parts of the puzzle and hope for the best.